| CRANS! ROGER HAS DEM! |
[Nov 19, 2008 * 12:21pm] |
|
( Yay! )
|
|
| Yesterday |
[Oct 22, 2008 * 6:21pm] |
After publicly humiliating myself and others yesterday, I feel like honesty of another sort is called for.
Usually I'm very careful about public appearances. I think before I speak and I'm very particular about how I present myself. Yesterday, I was affected by some sort of curse or hex that made me voice every single thought that came into my head. It reminded me of exactly why I usually don't do that. At the same time, it gave me a lesson in why I perhaps should be a little more honest with people than I usually am.
So let me say this:
Up until a little over a year ago, I was incredibly self-centered when it came to relationships. I was inconsiderate and motivated almost exclusively by sex. I had a good time, and I didn't really care much about who I hurt in the process.
Then I met Lila Moon, and everything changed. On the surface, she didn't seem like anything more than a nice girl with a pretty face. As I got to know her, however, I found out that she was intelligent, funny, classy, and that there was a certain something that I couldn't place that made her incredibly attractive. Before I knew it, against my better judgment and all my plans, I'd fallen in love with her.
We've been together for over a year now, and I haven't been as happy as I am with her since I was a little kid and my father was still alive. Being with her is like coming home after walking a long, rough road. I love her, and I sincerely hope that my accidental indiscretions yesterday and my longer-term lack of communication haven't caused me to lose her forever.
Lila, you know I'm not good at this sort of thing. I don't talk about my feelings and I don't let my guard down in public. However, you mean too much to me to not try anything I can to convince you to forgive me. There it is, then: a public apology to follow a public transgression.
|
|
|
[Oct 10, 2008 * 9:29pm] |
I had taken Ripley on his evening walk on Wednesday when a purple balloon came floating down . It popped right in front of me, and as I was attempting to keep Ripley from eating the balloon remnants I found a note in it.
"Oh!" I thought. "One of those little balloon secret things! I'll get to read a hint of someone's deep, dark past!"
But no. No, it was much more sinister than that. The note read as follows:
"I don't wash my hands after I use the loo. Sometimes I run the water so people will think I washed my hands, but I don't."
People seriously do this? I am officially disturbed.
|
|
| Escape at Last! |
[Sep 29, 2008 * 10:36am] |
At my lovely girlfriend's suggestion, we are taking off for Australia as soon as I meet my deadline for the November column. I realized when I started thinking about it that I've not been on a proper holiday in years. I'm looking forward to it.
[Warded Private]
Not since my father was killed. We used to take the yearly family holiday, and we haven't done it since. Maybe sometime in the spring we should arrange for a family trip - Lila and me, my mother, and her aunt. It might be good for Mum and Dora. Merlin, something's got to be good for Mum. It's been so long now since Dad, and I feel like she's still not moved on at all. But then, how could she? He was Dad. She'd been in love with him since she was nineteen. That's not a loss you can just up and recover from. But it's been years. I just don't know how to help, and I wish I did.
And Lila. Do I confront her? Would it be hypocritical of me to confront her? Does it even matter? She loves me. She's not going to do it again. She just made a mistake, and probably not even much of one, and if I call her on it that requires me admitting that I was listening to her thoughts all day, which is probably a much bigger offense. People put too much emphasis on sexual fidelity, as if that's all there is to a relationship. I shouldn't even worry about this, not really. We're happy together, and this is better left ignored.
[end ward]
|
|
| Warded Private |
[Sep 4, 2008 * 10:09pm] |
[Warded Private]
This is not my bloody fault. All she'd have to do would be to just bloody APOLOGIZE and I would happily forgive her for having done something so completely idiotic as getting herself arrested. But no, she's got to be STUBBORN.
Well, damned if I'm going to apologize first. I didn't do anything wrong. I came home and went to bed like a normal fucking person. SHE'S the one who went out with her mad friend and got arrested. ARRESTED, for Merlin's sake! I go to bars with Samantha Fucking Fawcett, and even I've never gotten arrested. And I am absolutely within my rights to be angry at her for waking me up in the middle of the night to fetch her from a fucking holding cell, and she has no business being angry with me for being angry!
Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.
[/ward]
[Warded to Sam]
Pub night Friday? I need it. In fact, I think I need to forgo the usual vodka tonic and just go for the straight shots.
[/ward]
|
|
| The Quidditch Monthly Staff needs to quit slacking on Friday afternoons. |
[Aug 1, 2008 * 2:27pm] |
We've been bouncing a question around the office, and I'm curious as to what the rest of you think. Fair warning, it's a little odd.
How many five year olds do you think you could defeat simultaneously in unarmed combat?
To define further, because the people around here can't just say "seven!" and move on:
Five Year Olds: The children will all be ordinary British five year olds of average height and weight. The average five year old weighs around 50 pounds and is around 3.5 feet tall. None will be either inordinately sickly or filled with unusual vitality. However, the children will not scare easily. We must assume they have some solid motivation for taking you down - perhaps you kidnapped their mums or killed their dogs or took the last football on the playground. At any rate, they won't go running just because you yelled at them loudly or even because you very messily killed the first one.
Also, assume the children will have been given a day's training on working in groups to take down one adult. You will have been given a half-day's training on fighting large groups as an individual.
Defeat: To consider your five-year olds defeated, they must all be dead, unconscious, or subdued and unable to fight any longer. The same criteria apply to defining your defeat.
Unarmed: No wand, no cudgel, no broom, no weapons of any kind. Mano a mano, hombres.
Combat: Anything goes. There are no illegal moves. You and they can win by any means necessary.
Other important notes: Assume you are in an open space with a magical boundary that marks off an area half the size of a standard quidditch pitch. No conventional walls. You are allowed to throw them very hard against the ground and it will not count as using a weapon.
So how many? Personally, I think I could manage about 10-15. Other answers here have included "Six, maybe", "One. Definitely no more than one", "25 or so" and "pretty much a thousand".
|
|
| Boggarts |
[Apr 19, 2008 * 2:34pm] |
[Warded Private]
If I opened a closet and found a boggart there, would I still find Luna Lovegood staring back at me?
I haven't run into one in a few years. The last time I did I wasn't long out of school, and I was a little baby reporter struggling his way into sports writing. She was everything I most feared becoming: ridiculous, weird, and just about universally disliked. People talk all kinds of shite about how what other people think isn't important, and it's just stupid. It is important and everybody knows it. And now I wonder if maybe I've cared a little too much about that.
I spent half an hour in love with Luna Lovegood, and it's making me rethink all my choices. That's fucking ridiculous to begin with. But how could I not? My whole life got turned upside down and shaken about, and I have to deal with that. It wasn't really the being in love part - that passed away with no trouble and I'm quite comfortably in love with my girlfriend again. But going through all that made me realise that in all my insistence on being Mr. Popular, I might have gone just a little too far.
So I faced my fears and apologised for my sixteen year old self, and she accepted, and now I'm left to wonder: What would I see if I went up to my mother's attic where boggarts like to lurk? I just can't imagine that Luna Lovegood would come popping out from behind Dad's old textbooks now...so what would? What's left to fear now, if I'm not so afraid of becoming her?
I don't know.
[end ward]
[Warded to those who would consider Roger a friend]
When you run into a boggart, what do you see?
[end ward]
|
|
| Warded to Men Only, Sam can also read |
[Mar 19, 2008 * 5:41pm] |
[Warded to Sam Fawcett]
I'm including you in these wards because I know you'll want to see what everybody says. Don't contribute, though, because the commentary won't be nearly as good if they think a woman's watching.
[end ward]
[Warded to Men Only (and also Sam Fawcett)]
This is warded to men only. My nominations following the Picture Parade:
Best Tits: Kat Bundy
Best Outfit: Sam Fawcett
Best Legs: Debbie Runcorn
Most Fake Smile: Leanne Twillfit
Best Lips: Luna Lovegood
Most Scarily Skinny: Luna Lovegood
Cutest: Maisie Twiddle
Best Joke Picture: Lisa Tu Finnigan
Most Disappointing Omission: ? I'm not sure. Not Marietta "Woe Am I" Edgecombe, that's certain.
Agree? Disagree? Discussion? The Committee on Feminine Pulchritude requires your input!
|
|
| Birthday |
[Feb 26, 2008 * 7:16pm] |
Thanks to everyone who sent happy birthday wishes!
I decided to have a look back at what I had to say on the 26th of February over the past few years. I've had this same journal for 4 years now, so it marks an interesting period of changes. In reading over these, I've found that I'm much more laid-back than I used to be. I think that's probably a good thing. I'm more comfortable with myself, too, but I suppose that happens to everyone as they get older. Mum says that as you age, you don't change; you just become more who you really are. If that's so, I think I like who I am.
|
|
|
[Jan 30, 2008 * 8:44am] |
Ripley seems to think that the dinosaurs are for playing fetch with. He keeps chasing them down, grabbing them, and then very carefully bringing them back to me. He gives me this look that seems to say "Look, Dad! Look what I got for you!" I think he's convinced that by catching genuine dinosaurs, he is an amazing hunter. After all, they're dinosaurs.
For whatever reason, he seems fairly convinced that they are not food and not something he ought to hurt. Interesting. More proof, I think, that Ripley is the world's brightest dog. Good boy, Ripley.
For the record, there will be no additional pets in our flat. We've got enough, and definitely no urge to add a small but vicious lizard.
|
|
